just a quick post today. i had to share a recent moment in motherhood.
sometimes as a mom i feel like an impostor. i love sharing adorable photos of my girl on instagram and facebook and i feel like i at least somewhat present a put-together, successful mother to a thriving little girl. but the truth is, most of the time i feel like i'm failing. i can be really hard on myself, and i think it's a trait that all moms can relate to. no matter how hard you're working, there's something you feel like you're not doing adequately. i am lucky i have a great partner to remind me that i'm doing my best and fiona is a happy and growing and fulfilled little girl.
anyway, one of the many things i've been beating myself up about lately has been fiona's eating. i am weaning from breastfeeding and she's getting mostly formula during the day, plus solids. i've relied heavily on "pouches" of store-bought purees and i always feel guilty for not making her homemade baby food. it doesn't help that the one time i went out of the way to make organic, poached, pureed chicken, she literally THREW UP. could not keep it down, wouldn't even try more than 2 spoonfuls (and i couldn't blame her, it was so gross).
so imagine my surprise when, yesterday, as i'm cleaning in one corner of the apartment while she plays in the living room just out of my view, i hear a noise from the kitchen (to be clear, our apartment is an open floor plan, the kitchen is just a little space looking over the living space). i walked into the kitchen area to find fiona had crawled all the way over there and had her hand in KOSAR'S FOOD DISH. i of course flipped out, picked her up, and discovered that she had a piece of kibble in her mouth, and one in her hand that she was trying to add to the mix. panicked, i fished the piece out of her mouth and threw it away. she was so confused! she was just happily trying new foods and had no idea what was going on. i almost cried i felt so bad! something tells me this is not the last time she will experiment with dog food. UGH.
of course immediately after this, i texted my sisters and they pointed out how hilarious it was. all i can think of it now is how she looked up at me from the floor with her hand in the dog bowl like, "mom, why didn't you tell me you kept snacks here??"
anyway, today is a new day, and i'm just trying to remind myself that we all make mistakes and we all make it through, even without 100% organic, homemade, perfect food.